Breast Cancer. I would have rather had chocolate.

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Three Years & Two Days

My last post was kind of a downer...a bad day...everyone has them...I'm over it now.

Three years ago this week I was diagnosed with cancer.  Three years and 2 days actually.  Sunday was a kind of "cancer-versary" if you will.  I've heard some people say that you can condiser yourself a "survivor" if you are still standing after you hear the word cancer for the first time. I like that.

The last few days I've been remembering alot about that week and what got me through it.  It wasn't me.  It was those around me.                                                                                                                                                                                   When the surgeon told me her next words were that we needed to "kick cancer's butt" (she didn't actually say "butt" it was more like a__ __) That started the fight against cancer.

My husband sat there and asked all of the right questions, got all of the right information.  That planned the fight. 

Later the same evening my parents answered positively to my saying "I don't want to die" so many times.  I'm sure they cried, but not in front of me. That supported the fight.

All of the medical staff around me were like soldiers in a war on cancer.  Many of them have become good friends, even like sisters. They were the friends in the fight.

Guiding everyone was God, the leader of the fight.

Since then, so many others have joined me in the continuous fight...TEAM 211 3-Day Walkers who walked beside me for 60 miles, scrapbooking friends and anonymous women that noticed my pink ribbon pin or cap and shared their story with me.  So many all together.

All I can say today is that I'm so thankful for all of theses people and I'm thankful to be alive.

No, really... I don't feel good today.

How do you feel today?  How is your day going?  How ya doin'?  How many people have you said this to today..a few dozen?  How many people have you asked that of today.. a couple dozens?  This seems to be something that we say so easily when we meet someone whether we now them or not, it just comes out. However, how many times do we say it to ourselves?  Seriously, have you asked yourself how you are doing today?  

(Side note - Perhaps I should have begun with saying that this may be a bit of a self-serving post.  But hopefully it will inspire others, just a bit.)

So back to "how are you?"  I asked myself today and the answer was "not so good".  The post-cancer drug I'm taking makes my muscles ache-y and gives me hot flashes. The one I'm taking taking to help with the hot flashes makes me a little groggy and tired. The muscle ache over the counter med. can upsets my stomach. Fun, huh? But it's the truth.  How am today?  Cruddy!

(Side note again -Before I continue to sound like I'm just feeling sorry for myself, let me say that today was just a particularly yucky day and tomorrow will be better, so don't think I'm Miss Cranky-Pants permanently.)

So back to the point I've been trying to make. If you're a cancer patient, or patient of any kind, I think it's okay to say it's a bad day. I know that at least with me, having gone through cancer, it has been hard to acknowledge the yucky things that go along with it, even as you are living cancer-free. You feel so thankful to be alive and healthy, that you feel ungrateful for even hinting that you may be feeling bad in any way. No one likes a whiner. Does that even make sense?  You know what I think it is?  It's the word "Survivor". For me this word implies having lived through something negative and now being immune to anything bad. Kinda like Superman, Wonder Woman. What I think I need to convince myself of is that even Wonder Woman had bad days!  At least that's what some very close friends (of mine, not Wonder Woman's) have told me.  So, on behalf of my friends that have recently listened to me complain, give your self permission to admit to the yucky stuff.  Then move on. (and put your WW cape back on.) 

It's all cancer. It's all crap. And it all needs to stop.

I've recently met several people with various types of cancer: skin, lung and others. One person included was a beautiful little girl that had had  a tumor, the size of a baseball in the back portion of her skull.  The size of a baseball.  Along with surgery,she had undergone 2 years of chemotherapy. I can not begin to imagine being a parent in that position, watching you child endure all of the procedures that this child encountered. She is healthy now. The thought of children getting cancer was not new to me, this was simply the first time I had encountered this face to face. I remember meeting many other patients during my chemo. visits, all with some form of this villain.

So, how does this relate to breast cancer?  Well, actually it doesn't, it just relates to cancer. Invasive, evil, crappy cancer. I talk about breast cancer because this is simply my experience, but I know, as I think all cancer patients know, that cancer is cancer and it is all rotten. Lung, skin, bone, prostate, cervical, the list goes on... and it all needs to stop!

So what can we do?  My physician's have told me to begin by being aware.  The term "awareness" gets tossed around alot, but seriously be aware of cancer. For yourself; read about your risks, know your body, know your risks for all types of cancer.  Pay attention to your health.   

Getting involved with agencies connected to any type of cancer is a great idea too.

Want to wear a ribbon to show your support?  Pink is great, but other cancer's are represented with ribbons too!  A rainbow of ways to show you've supported or been affected by a particular cancer in some way. I remember a lovely stained glass piece hanging in the chemo room that was a creative circle of all these ribon colors.

Yellow - Bladder cancer
Grey - Brain cancer
Pink - Breast cancer
White - Cervical cancer
Gold - Childhood cancer
Dark blue - Colon cancer
Burgundy & Ivory - Head & Neck cancer
Lavender - General Cancer
Kelly Green - Kidney
Orange - Leukemia
Clear - Lung
Lime Green - Lymphoma
Black - Melanoma
Burgundy - Multiple Myeloma
Teal - Ovarian
Purple - Pancreatic cancer
Blue - Prostate cancer
Light Yellow - Sarcoma/Bone
Peach - Uterine cancer

I guess my point is that there are so many types of cancer, all horrible, and we need to continue to come closer to a cure for all of them.

Did I say cancer is crap yet?

 
I just recently found Nirvana Mama who has develped Blog for a Cause. October's cause is Breast Cancer awarness - check her out this is cool.

Veryl cool companies support breast cancer research

In honor of National Breast Cancer Awarness month, I've been asked by several companies to promote their methods of raising funds for breast cancer research.  You can check out the programs of Scrapblog,  Sutter Home Wines and Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt on my new "Opportunites to support....." page.  Very cool companies, doing very cool things.  I'll keep adding to the list.

Yummy Scrapbook Goodness

New - Finally, and the winner is...Gaye!  Now, I still have one bag left so let's extend this a while.  I'll be picking another name on Friday October 8th. Remember to email if you're not sure that I know you're a scrapbooker!

Okay, all of my scrapbooking friends out there.  I posted on a couple of message boards so you may now about this already.  I had an amazing crop a few weeks ago to raise money for my Komen 3-Day, 60-mile Breast Cancer Walk.  I was totally thrilledwith the goodies that were donated from Bazzill, Glitz Designs, Three Birds,

Lucky for you, I have goodie bags left over!  So here's the deal....

Make a donation to my walk here

Then email me using the address below my profile photo on this blog and let me know you made a donation.  (The walk site will let me know immediately, but there's no way to know if your a scrapbooker so email me please and let me know.)

All names will be put in a lovely pink bag and next Friday, September 3, 7pm ET, I'll pick two names that will receive a fabulous goodie bag.  And...everyone that donates, winner or not, will recieve a scrapbooking treat from me.  Of course I'll pay the shipping/mail!

So, cool...I get donations...you get goodies....we helpto END BREAST CANCER!

Scrapbooking and Ending Breast Cancer

Okay all of my scrapbooking friends out there.  You may know that I held a crop a few weeks ago at Scrapbooking in Paradise to raise money for my 60-mile, 3-day walk for breast cancer...or rather to STOP breast cancer. I was totally thrilled with all of the goodies I received for the crop from Bazzill, Three Birds, Glitz Designs and others. Even a custom made goodie bag!

Lucky for you, I have lots goodies left over!  So here's the deal....

Make a donation to my walk here

Then, email me using the address below my profile photo on this blog and let me know you made a donation.  (The walk site will let me know immediately, but there's no way to know if your a scrapbooker so email me please and let me know.)

All names will be put in a lovely pink bag and Friday, September 24, at midnight ET, I'll pick two names that will receive a fabulous goodie bag.  And...everyone that donates, winner or not, will receive a scrapbooking treat from me.  Of course I'll pay the shipping/mail!

The walk is just over a month away and I must raise  minimum of $2300.  As a survivor, I can't imagine not participating again this year.

So, cool...I get donations...you get goodies....we help to END BREAST CANCER!

To Tattoo or not to Tattoo, that is the question.

First of all I'd like to congratulate myself on that amazing bit of alliteration. (with a tad bit of help from The Bard)

So..tattoos.  Something that sailor's in 1940's movies have?  Something that "rebels" have? Something you get during your stay in The Big House?  Why am I rambling on about tattoos?  I think I want one.  There, I've said it (kinda) out loud.  Actually I already have one - betcha didn't know that!  Not many people see it though...actually just me and my husband.  No, it is not in some odd place that is usually covered with underwear.  It's my nipple. Well, I guess it is usually covered with lingerie, but you know what I meant.  Now , granted "nipple tattooing" is not for the average person.

Perhaps, you think my faithful Franklin day planner once read:

MONDAY

Water plants - check

Take son to school - check

Shop for groceries - check

And under "Don't Forget" - have nipple tattooed

The answer is no.  However, my trusty planner never had a note to "get breast cancer" either,  so go figure.

The whole "nipple tattooing" thing is actually, one of the last stages of my mastectomy surgery.  Because of the location of my tumors, my mastectomy was performed by removing the inner tissue through the area where my nipple is...or was. When my reconstruction was done, a new nipple or actually "aureole" area was added using a sort of skin graft from my stomach. Yea, I know- weird.  Anyway, it was basically a smooth, round area.

We move on to many months later when the brilliant plastic surgeon actually "builds" a new nipple from that existing area.  (Just a side note -  I know that I have not, and most likely never will again, write a blog post with the word nipple included so many times!)  So, after that heals, the final step is, you guessed it...tattooing the area to look natural.  No, I did not have to go to a tattoo "parlor" and meet a tattoo artist named Spike.  It was actually done by a lovely and talented woman that does all types of permanent make-up. She was amazing - she blended several colors.  Funny story---the colors she used for this were actually the same as permanent lip colors, for obvious reasons.   As she was blending the colors she told me that one of them was named "New Virgin".  Ha! I told her I was 46 and had a son and that I was pretty sure that ship had sailed!  She blended, tattooed, and that was that. 

So, why the question to tattoo?  I have seen many Survivors with pink ribbon tattoos, angel wings etc... I saw one amazing tattoo over a woman's mastectomy scar and she said her reason was that the tattoo made her scar into a shield. This made me realize that Survivors are some of the brave ones and maybe I would want to do this to show my courage and to remind me how strong I am. Another woman with a tattoo near her scar, told me that it made something beautiful out of something tragic.  Kinda like breast cancer, it's tragic, but for me some beautiful things came from it like, confidence in myself, my strength, my faith.

So, that's why I'm considering it.

With a few restrictions.

Those of you with tattoos don't tell me it doesn't hurt! You would think that through all of these surgeries, and the fact that I am an adult, I would be able to face needles. Not so. I am though, in a weird way, lucky that some of the area around my mastectomy site is still numb. I'm thinking that I will just allow the tattoo person to poke around with a pin in that area until I say "ooh, that's good, I can't feel it there." and, voila! that will be the spot.

I just realized that a restriction regarding pain is really the only restriction I have.

Now, what will the design be....   I like the idea of wings (like Geralyn Lucas, in Why I Wore Lipstick To My Mastectomy") because of my faith and the numerous angels that surrounded me during that time.  Maybe a tiny heart too, to remind me that I'm strong.  Maybe a hula girl...or an anchor. How about a treasure map?

Seriously, I'm thinking wings and maybe a small heart.

We'll just have to see...

 

Look what I got in the mail today

This...

came today from my friend Gaye.  Is this not adorable?  I got all teary reading the beautiful tag.  And I'm loving the little pouch too. What a great on-line friend. Gay rocks!! And somehow she knew that I'm like the queen of bracelets!! I'm so blessed that I happen to "meet" her through cyberspace.

You know, you meet people in groups on-line and they actually become your friends, not just people you "talk" to. Ok, I'm getting teary again.She happens to be  on of the awesome members of House of Paper, a cool scrapbooking forum and store. I had been posting on this forum when I was diagnosed and these girls were there the whole time.  When I began doing HSN - I know they were watching. Hey girls!